Once upon a time…. I wrote a blog.  I had a whole series of 12 posts actually.  They were not necessarily award-winning.  But I felt they were good enough at the time to share.  I called the whole site “Running Through Life”, and each post had a unique running theme or application to it.  Rather clever, right?  Well, I thought so at the time, and they served a good purpose in my life providing a safe and convenient place for me to organize my thoughts.  Since then, I found out that the site has disappeared completely.  Gone.  Vanished.  Deleted from all of cyber world.  And with the entire site, went my blog posts.  And no, I did not have any drafts saved elsewhere.  Great idea now, years after the fact, but no – I did not think of that at the time.  For a while, I was pretty upset about that.  Really upset, as a matter of fact.  Like I had lost a huge part of my deepest thoughts and whimsical stories.  I even solicited the help of my super tech-savvy sister and another great friend who knew of clever ways to search through back doors looking for lost websites.  All to no avail.  So… thanks to my techie sisto, I have this new site, and the opportunity to again write down my thoughts for whatever purpose this might serve in my life.  And that simply has to be good enough.  I am resigned to that.  You should know that my uber-awesome sister created this site for me two years ago.  Two!  And here I am finally finishing my first post on it.  The rough draft has been here for quite some time.  Every now and then I dabble again, editing it, adding some more thoughts, changing a few lines, and wondering how it has really been two years since I started over.  Hmmmm…

Back when I started writing in 2013, I needed to process my thoughts and feelings after my Dad died.  It was all very therapeutic, insightful and introspective for me.  I never intended to change the world with my words.  Instead, I just took a chance that writing would be helpful for me alone, and maybe, just maybe, one or two other people might connect in ways I may never know.  That was a pretty good goal at the time, and was actually quite outside my comfort zone.  So maybe that’s why I was okay “publishing” each post.  I needed to stretch.

Sometimes I’m still processing “why” my posts were lost, and what I am supposed to learn from that.  It’s funny to me that I remember some of them vividly.  But others slipped my mind and must have been more of a stream of consciousness than deep, long-term thoughts.  I found all the titles by searching through Facebook.  Thank goodness that’s still around!  🙂  The titles included:  “The Uphill Climb”; “Cross Country Running – Uphill Both Ways”; “Sunday Running”; “Running on Empty”; “Metaphorical Marathons”; “The Couple that Runs Together”; “Run in Someone Else’s Shoes”; “Running Partners”; “Running Errands”; “Run, Walk, Run, Walk, Run Some More”; “Music that Moves Me”; “Change Your Route”; and my very first post simply titled “Running Through Life”.

It still bothers me that I cannot open them up, read through them, and reminisce on what I was thinking and going through at the time.  I imagine now that it’s just time for me to start over, with new thoughts and a focus on the future.  Like a little voice is reminding me that when some chapters close in life, it’s time to begin again right where I am, and to be grateful for that.  I gave a friend some encouraging cards recently, and one resonated with me about this very sentiment.  It said, “Don’t look backwards.  You’re not going that way.”  So it is with running through life.  And so here I am, with a new starting line, a new course to run, and a new blog for posting, processing, thinking, and expressing whatever I might have to say from this point forward.

Here I go.  Thanks for running along side me.

Running Alone